so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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