you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
