So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
