i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
barbara walters just said penis...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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