She's JV to your varsity
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
