thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
