did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
