But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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