If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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