did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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