This girl is more easily done than said...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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