i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
