First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
