Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
