is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
