Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
