so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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