Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
