I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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