its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
