phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize