you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
