think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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