Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i already hear my dad disowning me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
