dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
