My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize