The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
