Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
