I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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