Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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