her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
