you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
