i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
