OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
