she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
