Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
