Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
