sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
