I will die if light touches me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
