We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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