The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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