guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
