Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
