So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
