Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
