You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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