How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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