Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
