i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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