Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
