I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
