Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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