You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
