dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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