jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize