Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
