When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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