Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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