omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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