Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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