My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
