In the future we'll all be gay
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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