CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
